


Let me go

by succ_ka_bvi



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Bathtubs, Cutting, Depression, M/M, Sad, Self-Harm, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-09 00:02:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14705311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/succ_ka_bvi/pseuds/succ_ka_bvi
Summary: “Please, l-let me go..”





	Let me go

The water must've turned cold by then, but Donghyuck was too numb to even care. His brown orbs analysed his quivering hands, the pads of his fingers pruined, then he scanned the open wounds on his arms, raw and red. It wasn't enough today. Just a bit quicker, Donghyuck could've been, then Mark wouldn't have been able to save him like all the other times. 

The presence behind him woke Donghyuck up — he must've not noticed Mark get in the tub with him. Mark was shaking, he could feel it surprisingly. Tilting his head back against his shoulder, Donghyuck noses at the older's jaw. “Am I going to hospital again?” 

And Mark couldn't help but let out a little sob at Donghyuck's slurred words. He won't go back, Mark won't let him. 

Mark whispered, “No, baby. I'm gonna take care of y-you.” 

Donghyuck tried to reach for Mark's hand, but it felt as if everything was weighing him down. Getting the idea, Mark tightens his hold around the younger, careful of the arms Donghyuck cut up. 

He could barely keep his eyes open. “I'm tired hyung.” 

“No, no. Please stay with me.” Millions of times before, this has happened. Mark thought he could get through this, he has before, but Mark doesn't believe it when the younger slowly becomes limp in Mark's hold. “Donghyuck, please.” 

It was barely a voice, but Donghyuck managed to speak. “Please, l-let me go..” 

In denial, Mark spluttered out, “Remember when we used to get ice lollies from the ice cream van after school in the summer? And you would ride your scateboard all around the park while I was on my bike?” Shaking Donghyuck lightly, Mark continued. “I remember when you used to whine about the heat, but the tan you got every time was beautiful. Donghyuck, you're so beautiful, you know that right?” 

With no response, Mark only sobs harder. Donghyuck wasn't quivering any longer, and before Donghyuck's head could tilt to the side, Mark tucked the younger's head under his chin. “Baby, you're so cold.” 

But checking his pulse, a heart beat was present. A weak, little beat that made Mark cry out and wail. His hands were covered in the younger's blood, all smeared on Donghyuck's cheek and neck where Mark cradled and caressed him. A sight that made the older want to throw up. 

Donghyuck wouldn't want to wake up in the hospital. Mark doesn't want Donghyuck to wake up in the hospital. He wants the fragile boy in his arms forever, to protect him from his bad thoughts. Mark couldn't protect Donghyuck from himself though. No medicine was strong enough to keep Donghyuck's thoughts at bay. 

Mark didn't realise but he was rambling, “Please, don't leave me- Oh fuck, Donghyuck. I love you, I love you so much- you don't even believe it. God, please don't let him go. He's got so much to live for- he's only eighteen, please god. He's too young..” The last bit was muffled in Donghyuck's wet hair. Mark kissed the top of his head and buried his nose in the soaking strands. 

With Mark's vision blurring, the older squeezes his eyes shut, trying to pull the younger's weak body closer and keep him warm. The banging on the door startled him, but he kept weeping and weeping. It was Donghyuck's brother, only he was home at this time. Mark was selfish though. It was only until his brother managed to break the door open that Mark was ignoring him, isolating Donghyuck and himself from the world. 

“What have you done?!” 

“Why didn't you call for an ambulance?!” 

“How dare you let him bleed out!” 

“He's dead! Because of you!”

**Author's Note:**

> i'm not despressed or suicidal myself so i can't even begin to imagine what it feels like to go through this


End file.
